No One Cares Who Kristen Stewart Kisses

Dear Internet Media:

No one cares that Kristen Stewart had an affair.  No one cares that she’s apparently breaking up with her boyfriend.  And despite what some of you “journalists” might suggest, I really don’t think cheating on her boyfriend and then apologizing for it is going to ruin Kristen’s career.  We’ll still have to put up with her mediocre, stony-faced acting in plenty of boring indie films.  There are many other celebrities who have done much worse and still had a career when the dust cleared.

Stop writing about it.  Stop making it show up in my Google news feed.  It’s not as big a deal as you’re making it out to be.  Get over it.


P.S. Kristen and RPatz’s dog custody battle is also not news.



  1. When I saw the headline “Stewart Admits to Affair With Married Man” I thought they were talking about John Stewart. I had to look up Kristen to figure out which “celebrity” she was…

    1. That would have been a MUCH more interesting story

  2. […] the books took off. We had really hoped to find some tweens willing to debate the legitimacy of K-Stew and RPatz relationship, but were sadly disappointed. What you won’t be disappointed by? South North Gardens, Forks’ […]

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