Who Should Justin Timberlake REALLY Marry?

Justin Timberlake.  Singer, actor, dater of boring women.  I know his engagement to Jessica Biel isn’t new news, but I’m still upset about it.  There are much better choices he could make.  Let’s explore them!


The terrible couple together in 2010.

Kate Miucci.  She’s also a singer/actor/comedian.  She’s also cute and funny and quirky.  Sure, she’s not as polished or as well-known as JT, but I think she would help him with his comedy and he might convince her to get a better hair cut.  Mutually beneficial, right?

Ok, if you’re not with me on Kate Miucci, maybe Scarlett Johanssen is a better option.  Think about it, they’d look great together on the red carpet, she’d give him some cache with the acting thing and I feel like she’s the kind of woman who would keep him in line.

Rihanna.  Look how right they look together!  Sure, she’s crazy pants.  But he talks shit about his girlfriend/fiance behind her back.  So this could be a hot mess just made in tabloid heaven!

Obviously, the most perfect match would be with Andy Samberg.  They have so much chemistry!

Minnie would rather you married something who doesn’t bore her pants off, Justin.


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